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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Rain, Rain Go Away!

What a crappy, rainy weekend. I just want to sit in the sun. Anyways I went to a pregnant woman's dream today. The Broadway market where everything is deep fried or dipped in chocolate! I was bad and got a caramel apple and a sponge candy bar. Well my mom got them for me because she loves me that's why! Also we got a little soft lamb for the baby. I can't wait to find out the gender. Not that I care what I have I really don't. A healthy baby is all that matters. I am just a planner and a shopper as is my mother. We can't wait to shop for whatever we want that is gender specific. Then I can start thinking more about names too. I have three for each gender. My BF can pick the middle name...maybe. I am all set if it's a boy Gavin didn't get to use a quarter of what he got sadly. She keeps saying we have to go through his things and figure out what we need. She will come to my house and help me when I decide to. I don't know if I can do it though. The things he used I won't use, save the bassinet, swing, carseat, stoller, well all the expensive items. The blankets, clothes, animals and sheets I have put away. Sometimes I take them out, smell them and cry. Cry really hard and get so angry at the world. It's so hard being 25 ad my friends are having all this fun still. I belong to a club now that no one would ever want to be in. A sad mother's club where I feel like I am on a different planet then everyone else. I hate being Debbie Downer. I try not to be but what can anyone expect? I miss my son and that's it. I do plenty of things now but if I don't want to do something who cares? I can't make anyone understand that though. 

On another note I am excited to be a mom again and am very happy to be pregnant. It took a lot of trying and I am glad it's happening. Time to eat dinner now. Have a good Saturday!

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