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Monday, November 28, 2011

Blake's Homecoming and 1st Halloween

Ok I hope I'm not killing you guys with these pictures! If I am let me know. I just can't get enough of my little mansie so I take a ton of pictures. I wanted to pop in and share Blake's first days at home/first Halloween.

Before we brought Blake home I was very curious about how Aiden would react to him. Some days Aiden would rub and kiss my belly, or put his lips to my bump and say "Hi Baby!" Others he would tell me "No baby brother, that's Aiden's room!" (talking about the nursery, I guess he felt entitled to 2 rooms) So I wasn't quite sure how Aiden would feel now that he wasn't the baby of the house. He loved Gavin but was only a baby himself then. He also really couldn't take at that point. He did always kiss and hug Gavin. Every morning when I took him out of his crib he'd run to the bassinet, look over the side and yell "Baby!" When Gavin died Aiden was too small to understand. He would still run around the house looking for him. I cried so hard wondering what Aiden was thinking. I hoped Aiden would love Blake just like he did Gavin.

My hopes were right because Aiden loved Blake right from the start. As soon as he was dropped off he ran in to the house full of excitement. He was screaming "Where's my baby?" He then came over to me and said "Let me hold my baby." He kissed him all over and kept calling him "Aiden's baby." He's such a great big brother. Whenever Blake cries he drops what he's doing, runs over, rubs Blake's head and whispers to him "Don't cry Lake, Don't cry baby." He can't say his B's too good yet so he calls him Lake instead.

Brad and I have been doing better then I expected. We are nervous parents but not psychotic like I thought we would be. I actually fall asleep when Blake does. Although I will admit I spend a lot of time watching him breathe or putting my hand on his chest. He's such a good baby and I'm so in love with him. Very strong and smart too. The one picture shows him looking at his light up toy at only a few days old. He's also been able to lift and turn his head from the start.

For Halloween Blake was a puppy. I mostly dressed him up to take pictures. We didn't go anywhere with him since he was still too young. So we stayed home, took pictures, and handed out candy together. All the trick or treaters thought he was the cutest thing. Who could blame them?!

I can't believe how much Gavin and Blake look/act alike. When my 12 year old sister saw Blake for the first time she said "They look the same! I think Gavin came back." She's a very smart little girl. She's always believed Gavin's spirit would come back to us. Like the rest of us she misses my sweet Gavin very much. If you look at the last picture you can see the resemblance. Blake is in the brown outfit and Gavin is in the lower left hand corner. I cried when I took that picture and Blake posed just like his brother.

Sorry for the long winded post. I have a lot to catch up.

*Michelle- Thanks for your number hunny! I will be in touch. I wish you could meet Blake. I would let you hold him all you want!*


















Sunday, November 27, 2011

Blake Alexander

I'm so sorry I haven't posted in so long. I have so much to share about my amazing boy. I will start with my birth story.
On October 17th I had an appointment with my OB. I knew we were going to talk induction since I was retaining a lot of water which was causing extreme swelling. Every week before I was not dialated and baby was not engaged. The night before that appointment I was having a ton of contractions and was hoping that meant progress. Those contractions did what they were supposed to because finally I was 3cm and baby was in the right position to be born. I thought my OB would schedule the induction for my due date which was the following Monday. Instead he looked at me and said "You're having this baby tomorrow, are you ready?" He then stripped my membranes and called the hospital to set everything up.
I was so excited and nervous at the same time. I was huge, uncomfortable and my body was more then ready. Now I just had to mentally prepare myself and pray for a smooth labor. All that day I had painful, close contractions. Being the stubborn girl I am I tried to ignore them and finish some last minute things. When they got so bad I couldn't talk through them, I decided to call my OB. He instructed me to go to the hospital that night. When I got there of course things started to slow down. The nurses gave me the option of going home for the night so I took it.
Excitement kept me up all night. My house got a good scrub down and I got no sleep. At 5am the contractions were back in full force. After a shower and some phone calls we were off to the hospital. This time I wasn't leaving without a baby.
At the hospital the nurses checked me and I was now dilated to a 4. My body was going in to labor on it's own but they still "induced" me to move things along. Pitocin was then started and boy did it work. I was in a ton of pain and contractions were coming back to back. Thankfully my amazing midwife helped me through the pain. The pressure eventually got to be too much so she broke my water at about 10 am. At that time it was also discovered I had blood in my urine due to my kidneys acting up. Which explained why I was feeling so crappy. At about 12 pm I had all that I could take and was ready for an epidural. This time it worked unlike during labor with Gavin. Speaking of Gavin he's all I thought about. When my midwife told me to picture a happy time all I could picture was him. I cried very hard wishing my baby was here and going to meet his brother soon. She probably thought those tears were from pain but really they were for the life I wished to have.
Since Pitocin was being administered monitors had to be placed internally to better track Blake. The outside ones weren't staying on because my crazy boy was kicking them off. Internal monitors suck and are very uncomfortable. So when they asked to put in another one to track contractions I put up a fight. My midwife kept telling me the monitor was very necessary and I needed to let them insert it. Just then the nurse decided to check me. She all of a sudden shouted "Bloody show! You're at a 10 and ready to push." The problem with that was my epidural was just topped off and this time was very strong. I couldn't feel anything, how could I push? I asked my nurse that very question and she reassured me I could still do it. In rushed some students who were there to observe and my midwife began to prepare everything for Blake's arrival. My mom also come back in since I wanted her there.
With the help of the students, my mom and the nurse my legs were lifted and I pushed. Brad stood off to the side but still watching. He was shaking too much to really help. I don't know how I was pushing since I couldn't feel what was going on. I was doing it though and a good job too, according to my midwife. I felt so helpless in that moment since I couldn't even hold up my own legs. It only took a few pushes and about 20 minutes before Blake was born. I didn't tear at all either which is always a good thing. My midwife said I did have a "scratch" so she gave me a few stitches just to be safe.
When they put that beautiful baby on my chest I burst in to tears. So did Brad and my mom. These were happy tears of course that our beautiful, healthy baby was here. His cries were the most beautiful music. The students were even emotional and kept thanking me for letting them be there. They said I made them excited to have kids one day.
Blake did have a little trouble breathing at first. Which of course scared the crap out of Brad and I. Thankfully it was no big deal and he only had to be watched in the nursery for a few hours. The entire hospital stay I didn't even really take advantage of the nurses. I was so in love with Blake that he stayed with me almost the entire time. I only slept a few hours a night in between late night feedings. It felt so good to have him with me and not have to visit him in the NICU. It felt even better when I got to leave the hospital at the same time as my baby. Which almost didn't happen since Blake looked a little jaundice the last day and had to stay one more night. Thankfully the nurses knew about Gavin and how I didn't want to leave my baby there. They talked to their manager who let me stay an extra night although I was already discharged. I really got great care this time around.
So here he is Blake Alexander born at 3:05 pm on October 18th weighing 7 lbs 13 oz ad 21" long. I have a lot to fill in and my next post will tell all about his first month on earth. I hope you enjoy his hospital pictures and there are many more pictures to come.