Life is unfair, this hand I have been dealt is unfair. I am dying without my baby. What I wouldn't do to see him again. I am so uncomfortable today from the pain of him not being here. I want to hold him and never let him go. My sweet baby, why him? Why did he have to be ripped from me? I should be celebrating his 1st birthday not mourning his death. I shouldn't have to sit here at work and listen to people complain about things that are so ridiculous. As if they know what pain feels like. It's not their fault and I am glad they don't have to feel like me. My beautiful boy I love you and am so lost right now.