Holiday's suck for the bereaved mom. Even if she has other children there is still one stocking, still one place mat, still one basket missing. No matter how sad she is she has to hold it in so the other children don't have a bad time. If I have to cry on holidays I do so quietly in the other room. My brother, sister, two first cousins and step baby are all young. I do not want anyone fussing over me, I want it to be about the kids like it should be.
Easter wasn't bad though. I think since I had been sad the whole month of May knowing April was coming, then sad up until Easter my brain finally let me be content for a while. Of course Blake has no clue what Easter is but I pretended he did anyways. I hid his basket the night before then the next morning we looked all over the house for it. I sat him in his bumbo and gave him his plush bunny basket filled with toys. I also bought him some clothes but those don't quite fit in the Easter basket. Anyways, more then anything he was more interested in eating the grass.
Then Aiden came over and he is finally getting in to this holiday stuff. Heck if he knows he's getting candy and toys he's in. After that we went to grandma's (my mom) for dinner and the boys got spoiled all over again. I swear I really do need a second home for all the stuff these kids get. My family was always really big into holidays and love getting the kids everything they want.
All in all it was a good day.After we got the kids to bed, I sat outside looking for my Gavin star but the clouds were covering him.I sent him all my love anyways and talked with him for a while. After that I sat for a bit by myself and mourned what should of been.