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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Blake's 1st Easter

Holiday's suck for the bereaved mom. Even if she has other children there is still one stocking, still one place mat, still one basket missing. No matter how sad she is she has to hold it in so the other children don't have a bad time. If I have to cry on holidays I do so quietly in the other room. My brother, sister, two first cousins and step baby are all young. I do not want anyone fussing over me, I want it to be about the kids like it should be.

Easter wasn't bad though. I think since I had been sad the whole month of May knowing April was coming, then sad up until Easter my brain finally let me be content for a while. Of course Blake has no clue what Easter is but I pretended he did anyways. I hid his basket the night before then the next morning we looked all over the house for it. I sat him in his bumbo and gave him his plush bunny basket filled with toys. I also bought him some clothes but those don't quite fit in the Easter basket. Anyways, more then anything he was more interested in eating the grass.

Then Aiden came over and he is finally getting in to this holiday stuff. Heck if he knows he's getting candy and toys he's in. After that we went to grandma's (my mom) for dinner and the boys got spoiled all over again. I swear I really do need a second home for all the stuff these kids get. My family was always really big into holidays and love getting the kids everything they want.

All in all it was a good day.After we got the kids to bed, I sat outside looking for my Gavin star but the clouds were covering him.I sent him all my love anyways and talked with him for a while. After that I sat for a bit by myself and mourned what should of been.


  1. The pics are sooo cute, wow you guys go all out. I love the outfits and hats and little bunny slippers.
    I know the feeling for holidays; when were in walmart Codie saw a tigger easter basket and wanted to get it for Jack. Codie had an obsession with buying Jack tigger toys and outfits -then the realization hit. There was no Jack to take it home too.Holidays will have joy for us but will never be same without all our children.

  2. Good for you Steph - lovely memories x I'm sorry you had to cry at all x

  3. These pictures are so sweet!

    Been thinking of you and hoping that Gavins birthday on the 28th was alright. I lite a candle in memory of him - my kids even wanted to let go of balloons. So we sent Gavin some balloons to heaven as well. Hope you are coping okay ((hugs))