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Monday, March 12, 2012

You have TWO children?

If one more idiotic fool makes a comment involving my son you guys will have to start collecting bail money. A few times recently friends of Brad's have been over to see Blake and hang out. Both asked if we plan on having more kids. To which I responded "Of course I would love more babies, we are just going to take a break for a while.I never thought by 26 I would have two already." Their response? TWO?! What do you mean two?

Brad sees my face turning ten shades of red and gives his friends a quick nudge. They try to recover with "Oh yeah but I meant...." Thankfully for their well being they stopped before saying that they meant living children. Kid you not this has happened twice in the past two weeks and many times before.

I had Gavin, he is my baby. I carried him for 34 weeks, gave birth to him, sat with him in the NICU almost 24 hours a day, I brought him home, I loved him. I LOVE him still. Just because he isn't here on earth anymore doesn't mean he never existed.

Say one of them were to tell me a story of a grandfather that has passed. When they were finished I would look at them and say: What do you mean? You don't have a grandfather?

I guess the memory of Gavin just slipped their minds in that moment but it doesn't make it doesn't make it o.k. to me.I guess as the years pass the memory of Gavin will slip away to others. I will fight that from happening. Gavin is and always will be my baby. He deserves to be remembered no mater how short of a time he was here with us.

6 comments:

  1. Steph,

    Thanks for your sweet words on my blog. I can totaly understand why you are upset. I get angry when people tell me to have more children, as if it will wipe away 18 months of happy memories. Just keep doing what you are doing and speaking about your handsome boys. You are the mother of two, not one, TWO!!!!!!! We all know that and don't be afraid to correct stupid people who don't acknowlede that.

    Marisa

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    1. Marisa,

      You are more then welcome. I wish I could be there for you in person and hold your hand through this difficult time.

      Thank you! Believe me I have corrected anyone who has ever said anything of that nature. I will not let comments like that go, not ever.

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  2. Thats all an aggrivating subject for me as well, Ive actually had some people that know us say "you guys better get some time to yourselves because when the baby comes you wont have any" as if this was our first and we hadnt been through it before and were new to parenting. GRRRR You are a mother of two, what idiots these people are. xo

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    1. Michelle,

      I got that same exact comment so many times. Or I love when people would try to prepare me for what birth was like. Hello asshats I have already gave birth! Remember? I don't know why people think once your child died it's like they never existed and you never were a mother before. Most people are idiots and need to really start thinking before they open their mouth. I hope you are feeling a bit better. This point in pregnancy is always the hardest (which I know you know). Getting ignorant comments from dumb asses does not make it any easier!

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  3. Well you know me Steph - I have a REPLACEMENT baby! People are idiots. What more can I say! (sigh)

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    1. I still can't believe that lady said that to you. I have had people who have made comments to that effect but never came out and actually said it. Totally agreed! Most of the people in this world are complete idiots.

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