What A Difference A Year Makes

On this day last year I took a test that changed my life. Aunt Flo was due to make her unwanted visit on Valentine's Day. Although I've never had a regular cycle in my life the last few months before February my periods came on the exact day they were supposed to. So I woke up Valentine's day morning thinking come on period, go ahead and ruin my day. All day I felt like it was coming but to my suprise it never came. I wanted to test so badly that night but was afraid of being let down. So I waited.
Two days later on February 16th 2010 I still had not gotten my period. I was super crampy, my boobs hurt like Hell and my hormones were making me a Bitch. All the symptoms of getting a period but also all the signs of pregnancy. My mom knew we were trying. So I pulled her aside at work and told her "I am two days late and either I am getting one Hell of a period or I am having a baby." She told me to go home and test right away.
I was all out of tests since I took so many before in hopes they would be positive. So Brad and I headed to the store while I tried to not get myself excited. We raced home after I purchased three tests. I went straight to the bathroom and took the first one. Usually they take a few minutes to show the results. Not this time. Within about thirty second a big fat plus sign came up on my stick. I screamed with excitement and Brad just smiled so big. After what felt like a lifetime of trying I was finally pregnant. I called my mom right away and then we all cried. Those tears were both excitement and fear.
That moment was bittersweet for me. On one hand I was so excited to have another baby, on the other I was so afraid that I was hurting Gavin. I now believe Gavin sent his brother to me. Now exactly one year later I have another beautiful son. He has helped mend my broken wings. I am so blessed to have him and would be even more blessed if both of my sons were here with me. Blake has not replaced his brother in any way but he has given me a reason to live again.
One year ago today I took one of the most important tests a woman could take and boy am I glad I passed! I love you Blake Alexander.

*Sorry for the poor quality pictures so far. I have had no time to upload and re-size the ones from my camera yet!*

Valentine's Day

Snuggly in his swing

Sleeping Right After Momma's Cuddles